Welcome to the Machine
by systematic-alchemy
Summary: At the end of 4.09 Chuck vs Phase Three, the electric lobotomy works. The only personal information Chuck remembers is that he loves Sarah. His world is the intersect, spying, and Sarah. Nothing more and nothing less.
1. Chapter 1

"Chuck, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care if you have the Intersect or not. Without you, I'm nobody. I'm nothing but a spy. Come back to me, Chuck. I want to marry you."

When Chuck kissed her back Sarah knew everything was fine. Her internal sigh of relief let her whole body unclench. She hugged Chuck.

He opened his eyes and saw two men. "Sarah? Who are they?"

"Chuck? You don't recognize them?" And time to clench up again when he shook his head and jumped to his feet in a fight ready stance.

Morgan clambered to get behind Casey, having seen first hand what Chuck could do in a fight. Casey's stance slid to fight mode just in case. Sarah jumped between Chuck and their friends.

"Chuck it's OK. These are our friends." A tear leaked down her cheek and into the corner of her mouth before she sucked her emotions into check. "This is Colonel Casey and Morgan. They're our best friends. Tell me you remember them."

With a curt head shake, Chuck relaxed his posture. "If you say they're allies, I trust you. But I don't know who they are."

In a state of pure oblivious denial, Morgan jogged around Casey and hit Chuck on the shoulder. "Ha ha, very funny. The jig, my friend, is up. This is no time to fool around. You'd never forget your best friend."

Ignoring Morgan, Chuck turned to Sarah. "What's the exit strategy?"

"Chuck," Morgan gasped. "You have to remember me, buddy. Please."

"Sorry, man." Chuck shrugged and looked to Sarah once more. "About that exit…"

Morgan barged in front of Sarah, hands on Chuck's chest. "You've known me since we were six! We play Halo together, watched Buffy from the beginning in its original run, you're the best Call of Duty second I could ever want. But more than that, you've been there for me and me for you for all our highs and lows for the last twenty years. You remember me, right? How can you remember Sarah and not me?"

Casey pulled Morgan away in time to save him from the knee Chuck aimed at his stomach. "Get over here, dimwit. Chuck has amnesia right now, but if there's a way to reverse it, we will."

Chuck looked over the equipment and knew there was no cure for his amnesia. They'd electrically lobotomized him. And while he knew that, he didn't feel like he was missing anything important. The Intersect worked perfectly, and he still had Sarah. What more could he want?

* * *

As Sarah parked the car in front of the apartment building she said, "Like we discussed on the plane: your sister's name is Eleanor but everyone calls her Ellie. She's a neurologist, and she married a cardiologist named Devon that everyone calls Captain Awesome. They're pregnant with a girl right now. Ellie thinks you quit the CIA for good, but we should tell her the truth. Maybe she could help clear up your amnesia."

"Maybe." Chuck stepped out of the car and looked over the building. Not a single tingle of recognition. Since there was no reason to be stealthy, he openly took in his surroundings. Nothing clicked with him though. The courtyard was quaint, but the building's stucco and ceramic build were uninspiring.

Sarah watched Chuck remain unphased about his amnesia, and worried that he didn't care if he ever got his memory back. She unlocked the door to their apartment. "This is us."

He nodded and followed her inside. The apartment looked like nothing but an adolescent bachelor pad. Chuck had trouble wrapping his head around owning this much stuff. He was a spy and spies traveled, with no roots, living out of a single bag. This place was full of mementos, and excess baggage.

She sighed when Chuck said nothing. "I think I should tell Ellie and Awesome what's going on. Let them hate me and General Beckman, not you."

"I can tell them." Chuck said with a shrug.

"But you don't have all the information."

"I got the gist. Beckman submarined all my civilian interviews, and I wanted to find my mother, so both pulled me back into the spy life. I got captured and electronically lobotomized." Chuck saw the worry on Sarah's face. "Did I miss something?"

"Ah, no. But could you at least tell Ellie all that gently. She's pregnant." Sarah turned her back to him, hiding the tears in her eyes. This wasn't her Chuck. This man was too cold to be her Chuck.

"Sure." He ran his hands down her arms. "Anything for you."

When Chuck stepped out of the apartment, he saw Morgan sitting on the edge of the fountain looking forlorn, but walked past him toward Ellie's door.

Morgan stood up and said, "Fine. Ignore me. Act like this isn't the worst day of my life."

"You and the others found me three days ago, and you've said the same thing every one of those days." Chuck turned to look at Morgan. "Every day can't be the worst. It's a statistical improbability."

"But not impossible. And Chuck, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, man?"

"I don't know."

"Well my Chuck would be devastated. And every day that goes by that you aren't the best friend I grew up with, will be worse than the day before. Especially when you don't seem to care about getting your memories back." Morgan shook his head and looked at the ground. "This is worse than if you'd died."

At Chuck's silence, Morgan gave up and went into their apartment. He saw Sarah her back and shoulders stiff with stress. "We'll get him back, Sarah. We have to."

She wiped the tears away and turned to face him with a watery smile. "I know."

* * *

Chuck knocked on Ellie's door. He'd seen pictures of both her and Awesome, so he recognized Devon when he answered the door. "Chuck! Ellie's been worried sick. She hasn't been able to get a hold of you for days."

"Is she here?"

"Upstairs deciding where all the furniture will go in the baby's room." Devon motioned for Chuck to follow.

"I think what I need to tell her would go better down here."

"Is something wrong, bro?" Awesome asked, his expression concerned.

"Yes. And I don't think Ellie wants bad news in the nursery."

"I'll get her." Devon disappeared up the steps.

Chuck looked around the living room. There were pictures everywhere. Some of them were Devon's, and some were Ellie with Devon. But there were some of Chuck with his sister. None of it looked familiar.

"Chuck?" Ellie's voice sounded worried. "Where have you been?"

When he turned, she hugged him. He returned the hug with the ease of a master spy playing the perfect role. "Thailand mostly."

She pulled away. "Thailand? You're spying again?"

"General Beckman tanked all my interviews. She insisted I return, between that and wanting to find our mother, I didn't see any other way." Chuck touched her shoulder. "You should probably sit down before I tell you anything else. You too, Devon."

Once they were seated, and Ellie took a dozen deep breaths, she said, "What else is going on that I don't know about?"

Chuck told them about the last week with as much care as he could manage, but that didn't stop Ellie from crying. This was his sister, and he felt nothing for her.

Ellie pulled herself together. "The tissue is still there though, so there's gotta be a way to get your memories back. I have friends that can help. We tell them what happened and…"

"And we can't tell them anything. If you told anyone that I'm a spy, you're signing their death warrant, and you'd get swept into Wit Sec."

"Then what can I do?" Ellie begged.

"Nothing."

"Devon, he can't be serious. There's no way I can just sit here and do nothing to help my little brother."

Captain Awesome held his wife. "We'll talk to Sarah and Casey. They might have more answers for us."


	2. Chapter 2

When Ellie first saw Casey and Sarah her temper flared. "How could you let him get back into…" then in a whisper she finished the thought, "spying!" Then yelling again, "Are you crazy?"

Casey was unphased while Sarah was ready to break in half from the guilt. It had been four days since finding Chuck. His memories were still gone, they had no leads on how to fix that, and he didn't seem to care. "I'm sorry, Ellie."

"I just want to know why!" Ellie screamed then leaned into Devon afraid of the answer she'd get.

"He's a good spy, and he likes it. But there was something blocking the intersect and when they were trying to fix it, he got captured. We all know the risks, he accepted them." Sarah took a deep breath. "And he paid a high price."

"He's still alive, I don't know what you people are bellyaching about." Casey was annoyed with all this over sentimental nonsense.

Morgan walked into the room, "How are we getting him back?"

"Is there something I can tell other doctors? Something that won't get them killed?" Ellie asked as she sat on Chuck's couch.

Sarah and Casey shared a dubious look. "Even if you come up with a good story, the government will still put all of you in Wit Sec. The people that did this to Chuck might find him through your efforts."

"Yeah, and if you got your Chuck back, he'd be all upset about that." Casey snorted. "I'm going to clean my weapons before my shift at the Buy More."

Devon frowned and muttered, "This is not awesome. We lose no matter what we do."

"Maybe if you appealed to General Beckman, she'd sanction the government doctors to work on bringing our Chuck back." Sarah knew she was reaching, but she was just as desperate as everyone else in the room.

"Have you asked her?" Ellie asked.

"I have, and she said no. But if she sees all of us trying to bring him back, she might help us." More reaching.

Across the garden, Chuck knocked on Casey's door. "They're all over there talking about me, so I was hoping I could help you with some good ole weapon maintenance."

Casey grinned. "Come on in. I was just oiling up my favorite gun. I call her Vera."

"How many times have you watched Firefly?" Chuck asked as he followed Casey into his apartment.

"That Jayne guy is a handsome devil, ain't he?"

"Reminds me of you actually. And do you find it at all strange that I remember a short lived but awesome sci-fi television show but not any friends or family?" Chuck sat across from Casey and picked up a gun and disassembled it.

"Amnesia's like that. So tell me, Chuck, what's the name of your favorite weapon?"

"Never named one. Maybe I should." He polished every piece of the gun and brushed out the barrel, oiling as he went. "How about Frank?"

"A guy's name? Why would you do something like that?" Casey lit a cigar then got down to oiling Vera.

"I don't know. I guess the whole giving a gun a girl's name seems rapey and serial killeresque." Gun cleaned to spec now, Chuck put it back together.

"No, it's not." But Casey now couldn't get the thought out of his head. "You have to ruin everything."

"Sorry man. Maybe after work, we can get a beer." Chuck picked up another gun.

"You'll probably ruin that too." Casey groused under his breath until all his guns were clean and in perfect working order. "Go home before Sarah does something more stupid than usual."

Chuck chuckled at Casey's normal grouch and waltzed over to his own apartment to find it empty. With a shrug he got ready for work at the Buy More.

He arrived there an hour later and found that he knew where everything in the store was but didn't remember a single co-worker. "Huh."

Sarah watched Chuck on the monitors in Castle. His demeanor was that of the Chuck she fell in love, but not entirely. There was a coldness about him that chilled her. His interactions with the other staff were aloof when watched by someone that knew him as well as she did. She could see the falseness in every exchange of dialog.

* * *

Ellie finished working on the project her father left her. And while she didn't want Chuck to be a spy, this was her only hope of getting him back. But she didn't know what the new password was to get any further. Maybe Chuck would know.

When her shift ended, she took the computer with her to the Buy More. When she arrived, Chuck was sitting at the Nerd Herder desk concentrating on something in front of him. Sarah saw Ellie on the monitor and recognized the laptop as the kind Chuck's father used and rushed to see why Ellie had it.

Ellie stood in front of Chuck, opened the laptop and turned it toward him. "Do you know what this means?"

"Well it the value of an ace in blackjack, but… there's something more." Chuck searched the recesses of his brain for an answer and heard a ghost of a voice, so he typed in: ACE'S, CHARLES and got to the next screen where he pressed enter as instructed.

Images flashed before his eyes, bringing with them flashes, but not of the intersect which he didn't need to flash on anymore to use. No, these were memories. None of them were exact, he could tell. They were more like reading a dry report about his life, but it was still more information than he'd gotten from the others while they tried to jog his memory. "How did my dad know all this?"

Ellie dared to hope. "He'd been keeping a close eye on us, remember?"

"Do you remember?" Sarah asked.

"No, but I have more of the story. It's like flashing for the intersect but with my life instead of covert information or martial arts. And I didn't fall over this time, so I'll put that in the plus column." Chuck blinked rapidly as more information flashed before his eyes. "I think I need to lay down."

"I'll take you home," Sarah said, pausing to hug Ellie. "Thank you."

"Thank you, too." Ellie had tears in her eyes as she watched Sarah lead Chuck out of the store. Chuck would never be the same, but from here there was at least hope. And she'd never been more grateful that her father was who he was.


End file.
